Friday, February 27, 2009

Bonding time with Dad

For the first time since Poe has joined the family I had to travel overnight for work. Two full nights away from home. Two long nights for the husband (DH).

Now, major props to the hubs this week. He loves to spend time with the crazy collies and couldn't wait for 2 nights alone with Jack and Poe. Manly meals of pepperoni and cheese for the man-beasts and embarrassment-free snugglefests and baby talk with his princess. He was ready with his lists of training homework, his clicker and treats. And his pen and paper so he could take notes for the blog post that will surely be generated out of this experience.

The husband decides that taking the kids into public alone can't be too hard. He loads them up in the car and takes them to a wonderful boardwalk close to home. There are people to watch, dogs to greet, seagulls to watch, water to smell.....................oh honey, how did you ever think this would go smoothly?

It started smoothly. Oh how such a short sentence can hold so much meaning. Everything was going well until Poe met a new friend. While meeting new friends is all in good, it helps if these friends don't have wings, don't fly, don't shit on your head and aren't currently flying over water. Poe tries to fit through the slats in the pier to meet her new seagull friend who we can call Bob. While Poesy can swim, this is really not the time or place. The husband blocks her. Crisis averted. But Poe once again shows her true brains and determination and figures if you can't go through something you might as well go over and starts trying to scale the railing. Well Shit. When that didn't work she jumps into his arms and tries to go over the rail. Well Double Shit. Thank god for DH's ninja like reflexes as he catches her and puts her back on the ground. Meanwhile, Bob isn't helping, still flying lazily overhead.

Fu*k you Bob.

Not to be shown up by his little sister Jackson shows just how smart he is. He is so smart that he can conjugate verbs, mainly the verb "to sing":

According to Merriam-Webster SING means:
1 a: to produce musical tones by means of the voice
b: to utter words in musical tones and with musical inflections and modulations
c: to deliver songs as a trained or professional singer
2: to make a shrill whining or whistling sound
3 a: to relate or celebrate something in verse
b: to compose poetry
c: to create in or through words a feeling or sense of song
4: to produce musical or harmonious sounds

According to Jackson sing means:

to channel his inner coyote and yodel, yip and howl so loud that there is no hope for slinking casually away, hoping no one recognizes when you return 6 months later.

Two women walk by and in conversation says "Whahahah ahahahahah singing whahahhawhahaha". Jackson quickly realizes that singing is a related form to sing according to Merriam-Webster and breaks out a howl like none other. People stop, staring slack-jawed at the tones emitting from his pointy little collie head. Jackson takes the stage and sings with all of his heart, dazzling his audience with eye drum splitting octave jumps. His audience grows, astonished that only 50lbs could push out that pitch for so long, much like Mariah Carey .

DH tries to quiet them but suddenly finds himself like most dads, woefully unprepared for the situation. Without even a crumb of a treat he is hard pressed to distract Jackson from his ever-growing audience. The husband stares into the crowd, seeing the cop car turning onto the street. Oh dear....there is no way to describe this scene without using the words "disturbing the peace". DH grabs the kids and bolts for the car. It might be a while before we can show our faces on the boardwalk, but hey, if you have to leave go out with a bang.

Dads might not do the job like mom, but they get the job done.

*love you honey*

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