Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Border collie moves

Having 2 young agile athletic dogs in the same house makes play time so much fun. They make up little games with each other and moves that would even awe Matrix special effect directors. Here is just a sampling of their most common moves:

The Flying Squirrel: Poe is about half of Jackson's size, making it very hard to wipe him out. Enter the flying squirrel. Poe will climb to a high height such as the bed or the couch. She will jump out to Jackson with all 4 legs extended, hind legs a little further out than her front legs. All legs are spread as far as possible to achieve maximum surface area at time of impact in the hopes of toppling the giant. Considering that Jackson isn't paralyzed or stupid, this doesn't often work because he just steps to the side or duck and watches her crash into the ground. She also greatly underestimates the sheer strength of the brute because the few times she has hit him with the flying squirrel she just bounces off his side and falls onto the floor while Jackson looks over his shoulder rolling his eyes at her.

The Paw biter: This is usually the secondary attack strategy after an ill fated flying squirrel mission. After crashing into the floor Poe will roll into Jackson, snapping at his ankles. He usually stops this by sitting on her.

The 'Possum: Poe will innocently lay in the dog bed or on the couch, luring her victim into a false sense of security. When Jackson walks by she will suddenly lunge out, gnaw on his ear and promptly fall back asleep. The possum can also be used in the middle of paw to paw combat in combination with the paw biter. The fur is flying and Poe will suddenly fall over. Jackson stands over to investigate, leaving him open to a paw biter attack.

Ring Around the Poesy: This is a spin off of the possum. Poe will lay on her side in the middle of the floor. Jackson will circle her carefully like one would a live bomb. At some point Poe will spring to life and jump on his head.

Cartoon Ninja: During a stand off Poe will stand on her hind legs, front legs bend down with her head turned to the side. Finally she makes her move and walks up to him on her hind legs, snakes her head to the side and goes for the neck/head. It is called the cartoon ninja because if you listen closely you can almost hear the "Waaaaaaawaaaaaaaaaa" in her head before she strikes. However, it can also be labeled the velicoraptor.

My Ass is Bigger Than YoursTM: This is a trademark move for Jackson. When Poe comes in for an attack he will body check her with his bum. Then spin in a circle, pushing her away with his big hairy rear. This is usually the point where Poe will attempt a flying squirrel out of ineffectual rage.

TIMBER!!!!!!: Another Jackson move. Poe will hook a paw over his back and pull him down. He will exaggerate the fall, roll on his back and expose his belly. Poe moves in for the kill, but Jackson flips back on his feet and smacks her as she falls face first into the carpet.

I'm bigger, the end: When Jackson needs a break he will just sit on Poe's head. He will lay on top of her and occasionally spoon her. A nice homey scene except for the crazy legs. You can't see Poe, but you can see her legs flailing like a beetle stuck on it's back.

Circus Pony: Jackson will stand in place and prance like a pony. Poe will be laying on her back under him and will try to catch his legs as they dance.

The Berserker: Poe might be tiny, but she is mighty. Jackson might be bigger but Poe is crazier. She demonstrates this by wrinkling her puppy face into a rather comical snarl while emitting high pitched yips and squeals. She will paw at the ground and rub her face in the carpet like a bull, give a scream and flying squirrel into Jackson. Usually Jackson just side steps and looks at me saying "that there is one CRAZY bitch". The Berserker either ends in poe zoomies or Jackson puts a stop to it with I'm bigger than you, the end.

So there is just a sample of their antics. Conversations in our house go a lot like this:

"Jackson Timbered on Poe and she paw bit him. He started to bum bump her and she totally flying squirrelled his ass!"

I really need to get these moves on video. I'm thinking pay-per-view.


  1. I have tears running down my face - this is great!

    My dogs also play like this. Leo is a fan of the paw biter and my ass is bigger than yours. They also do a fighting grizzly bear and Rocky retaliates with a running bulldozer.

  2. I would pay to watch any of those! I am laughing so hard, I am crying. Love the crazy dogs!